Monday 21 November 2016

lost

I thought I had one reason to hang on to this shitful pathetic life. I would get to see my granddaughter, have a relationship with her like my mum had with my kids, and be here for Rachel when she needed advice.

Sometimes I am a complete fool. Despite living 10 minutes drive away I get to see Grace once a week for minutes only. I need to spend time in her home where she is at her most relaxed. She knows me, knows I am one of the good guys, but doesn't give me huge grins like I'm sure she does to her Uncle Teddy & Jake, and others who see her more often than I.

Meanwhile, I was informed that if my daughter has a question she goes straight to her Hub's cousin and his wife. They have 2 small boys. That is the extent of their parenting skill. It's a miracle the first kid survived with the complete lack of sterilising anything - bottles, teats...

My daughter tells me that the mother has grown and matured. I have no doubt. But she is a profoundly dumb person, so is her husband. This is my daughter's go to because it's a very long time since I had babies. That is very true and products etc have improved beyond my recognition. BUT COMMON SENSE AND THE RIGHT INSTINCTS don't go out of fashion.

So, not needed for help, not wanted for Nana love and too ill to babysit or go to them. They need to come get me.

WHY IN THE ACTUAL FUCK DO I BOTHER?



 ~~~Grace~~~